I am constantly told by others that my five-year-old (almost six) is very articulate. They tell me that he uses big words, is knowledgeable of events, is well behaved (for the most part), and that he seems more mature than his age. They want to know my secret. It really is no secret but there is a back story, so bear with me.
My husband had a vasectomy in 2004. After studying Scripture more, our position changed toward children. He had a vasectomy reversal in August 2010. In April prior to the surgery, we were watching a WWII documentary telling the stories of brave men who fought against the evil in that time. I told my husband that the desire of my heart was to have a son so that he could train up a godly man for God’s glory. God answered my prayer with a little boy in July 2011. At the time, he had two older sisters who were twelve and ten.
Over the next five years as our daughters matured and were entering womanhood, we had (and still have) conversations regarding God’s Word. We have discussed all sorts of subjects and, through it all, my little man was there. He has sat with us through family worship. He has played quietly in the same room while we discussed Biblical manhood and womanhood. He has helped in the kitchen with the other members of the family. By eighteen months, he was using adult forks and spoons because everyone else did. At twenty-one months, he wanted to use the toilet because everyone else did. By age three to four, he was learning how to do household duties. He even dressed in a more mature way wanting jeans with button shirts that match daddy’s shirts. Even today he usually has a shirt tucked in with a belt on because that’s how dad wears it.
For five years, he has been surrounded by adults, has been surrounded with the reading of God’s Word on a daily basis, has been surrounded by more mature conversations, and has been taught the importance of being a man and following God’s Word. We have never dumbed down God’s Word to make it easier to understand and by three-years-old, he started to ask questions. It takes longer to have those conversations now because he is constantly asking questions, “Daddy, what does presupposition mean?” It is a joy to hear that.
About a year ago I was concerned because when we got together with other families, he chose to stay with us as opposed to playing with kids his age. This was not a concern for my husband. My husband shared with me that Biblically we are to seek maturity. We see examples of elders teaching the younger, and young people interacting with older generations. It is our culture that tries to keep people segregated, thus encouraging immaturity. For children to only be with children their age doesn’t encourage maturity. I am not saying that it’s wrong for children to be with other children. There are times when our son prefers to play with other children, and there are times he prefers to be with dad in conversations. Either is fine. I have discovered that when he is around other men he acts like a man, and when he’s around children he acts more childlike.
I only want to encourage you that there are times for young men to be with older men and young women to be with older women. They will act more mature and be more mature and gain wisdom from those generations who are before us.
- Jenni Zimmerman
Jenni is a homeschooling mom. She and her husband, Chris, live in Washington state with their four children. The entire family are earnest students of Biblical law.